Hello Everyone

I'm going to tell you a story..........well it's not a story, but you may think when reading it I've made it up. It's a long one but I've just got to share it with you all, so get comfy and I will begin.

I've posted on here before about my mother in law June who's got dementia and is in a nursing home. Her memory is terrible, yes I know thats to be accepted. She knows she knows me but doesn't know who I am. I am sometimes her sister, her cousin, her friend and I even get called Ethel sometimes (thats the name of a resident that sits beside her). If she goes to the loo when I'm there, she will come out and forget that I am there.

Around October 2009 the staff at the nursing home got concerned about her. Her tummy was getting really big, yet she wasn't putting on any weight. She also (going to be too much info here...sorry), was having a strong foul smelling discharge from........well you know where. They asked for a GP to go to see her but a nurse was sent instead. The nurse reported back to the doctor and an appointment was made for her to have and ultra sound scan done of her womb. Ones that pregant ladies have.

I took her for the appointment and went in with her when she had it done. June didn't like what was being done to her and kept complaining that it was hurting. The lady doing is said it couldn't of hurt her but she eventually gave up doing it saying that she couldn't see what she wanted adding that June's tummy was too big for her to see anything. She said that normally they would then do an internal scan but didn't think that June would tolerate it. She said that they would send an appointment for her to be sedated so they could successfully do it. Fair enough.........so I took June back to the nursing home.

That Christmas I went to stop with my daughter for a month, went early December and when I got back I expected to hear that she had had it done. No, she hadn't, no appointment had been made by the hospital. I phoned the appointment clinic to ask why and was transferred to the clinic to speak to one of the staff. Was told that June needed to sign a consent form to have the procedure done and because she had dementia and didn't understand what she was signing so she couldn't sign it, said that they wouldn't do it without her consent in case.......wait for this.......she sued them for assault. Well to say I was shocked was an understatement, I reminded them that she'd got dementia and she couldn't remember things that had happened two minutes ago, so how was she going to go back to the nursing home, remember what had happened, ring a solicitor up to make an appointment, remember when the appointment was, then remember what had happened to tell them. Sorry, we won't do it go and see her GP was the answer.

Appointment made to see GP, took June with me. The first thing that her GP noticed was that she was out of breath walking into the surgery. We struggled to get her on the exam couch and she started feeling Junes tum, saying that it was big and not in proportion with the rest of her, ie legs and arms being a normal size. She then announced that she could feel a growth/mass in June's tum and that was why she was out of breath so much because it was shoving all of her organs up and putting pressure on her lungs. Well I was gobsmacked, kept looking at June and thinking that she seemed so well, apart from the problems I'd mentioned. GP said that she would refer her urgently to the hospital and that I and my husband had to sit down with her other son and wife and discuss what to do, if it was fair on June to put her through all the trauma of an operation at her age.

The appointment came quickly and once again I took her for it. Was seen at first by a Junior Doctor and when I say junior I mean junior. A satchel around his neck would of looked more appropriate than a stethoscope (probably showing my age there). I made him aware that June had dementia and I understand that there will be a list of question that they have to ask a new patient but I sat there amazed at what he asked her!!!! The most stupidest questions being..........Can you remember how old you where when you went through the menopause and then even dafter............June, can you remember the date of your last period!!!!!

When we got to see the consultant she examined June and said she couldn't feel the mass/growth that the GP had found, but did remark on the size of June's tum. She then sent us down for another ultra sound scan on June's tum this time saying in her words...................If it is fluid in her tum, Junes guts will be floating about. Went back to see her and nothing at all was wrong with her tum. Consultant said it was just FAT..........and that June was probably constipated at the time when examined by the GP. I'm there apologising at wasting her time, then realised that I hadn't sent her there it was her GP. So off we toddled back to the nursing home.

Fast forward now to a few days ago. Nursing home again asked us to get June some new trousers because the ones that she's got are tight on her. Asked again about her weight and it's not gone up from before yet she's still getting bigger, she's also started weeing herself. They can't understand why because she gets up in the night to go to the loo but about 4 times in the day she wets herself. This got myself and my sister in law thinking because the scan on her womb never got done and Jane (sister in law) said do you think something might be pressing on her bladder now, like a baby does when you're pregnant and that will explain the weeing?

So, I've made an appointment with another doctor at her surgery (the one from before is not there anymore) to discuss June. I don't want to take her there, one being it's such a performance to get her there and two I don' want to have wee in my car. ..............but guess what the receptionist told me.................The doctor may not talk to me about June because of patient confidentiality. I replied that June doesn't remember that she wets herself. Receptionist just replied..........I'm only warning you that you may have a wasted trip................How stupid can stupid get???? You really couldn't make all of this up could you???????

The appointment is for next Monday so I will keep you posted on what happens next!!!!

Paula